I realized that the fresh new stereotypes which Europeans had been demonstrated also placed on us

I realized that the fresh new stereotypes which Europeans had been demonstrated also placed on us

Expanding right up, We began to focus on the differences when considering Italy and you can Kosovo regarding information lifetime, specifically about it issue. Discover a phrase that has long been used by Albanian someone and i also often however pay attention to. When a child gets hitched, the mother and father and family relations state, “I partnered your.” That does not make any experience conceptually, you to definitely decides to wed and you can will it. It isn’t the others exactly who go for your.

I desired knowing in that way out of identifying things, and so i decided to see Lek Dukagjini’s “Kanun.” In this text message, I guess I found a response. Within the stuff, it states that everyone works closely with relationship except for the couple. This is why it’s wise to declare that “i hitched him.” Once the at the time, all ilies worried. The happy couple did not care for something, they generally didn’t actually prefer or like one another.

Moments enjoys changed therefore dont read about instances such as those anymore – no less than, I’m hoping perhaps not. But a good germ of this mindset keeps remained. The stress exerted by nearest and dearest and you may family relations requirements both you and leads that make including a decision.

Exactly what features stayed prevalent ‘s the idea of “giving” otherwise “taking” a woman. Even today, people nevertheless listen to from their family it is best for these to discover ways to create specific things at your home, because when they leave for their husbands they will not have to research bad. Things like washing the house, cooking, providing caj (tea) and so on.

The idea the lady is the target of one’s child remains. Something a father chooses to share or otherwise not. That is what prospects of a lot to get partnered immediately following an initial duration of knowing both, as it usually happens one to a great girl’s dad looks and you can informs the latest child to determine what direction to go – marry or stop – since the his daughter is not a model.

The feminine intercourse has been recognized as an object

Increasing upwards, I additionally pointed out that every stereotypes for which Europeans was basically discussed together with placed on you. Individuals been divorcing, the good news is. We claim that since the I think of the life of a woman, given in-marriage and maybe even partnered because of the her own often, locked up in the home by the stereotypical Albanian guy, who inhibits you against meeting and you can undertaking regular social situations. We consider so it woman choosing the bravery – through a very discover area – to go away that domestic and you can go dating apps back to freedom.

The concept of splitting up almost don’t can be found for us, once the lady didn’t challenge to leave the person they partnered. But I discovered which our anybody also provide partners, that our anybody and marry for personal get. In a nutshell, we are not a lot better than other people. We are not primary therefore the “others” commonly this new devil.

I understand when We wed an Albanian woman, everything would-be glorious.

And additionally having been fortunate to grow up inside the an evolved nation eg Italy, being capable study and never having was required to real time through the conflict, I have the huge chance of getting several parents that have never made me become this type of tension. However, I feel it anyway, for the reason that it worry was born in my personal direct very long in the past.

Basically wed to a low-Albanian lady, exactly how often my mothers be seen? Exactly how am i going to be considered? Who will arrive at my house given that an invitees if my personal spouse does not cam Albanian? Often she actually travel to Kosovo? How will we label our children? Commonly our youngsters chat Albanian?